Dear Kiet & Kien,

2025 came and went as quietly as it arrived. The year began only three months after Mama’s passing, and I found myself lost, scared, and overwhelmed. Kien barely turned one when we suddenly ran out of breast milk. I searched high and low and managed to find some, and thankfully, he adapted to dairy milk far more quickly than I had feared.

During that time, caregivers came and went—some lasting only days, not even a full week. I was constantly searching for a new nanny, always on edge, and deeply exhausted. When Mama was still with us, I could turn to her for guidance, reassurance, and wisdom. Without her, we were truly on our own. Stepping into the role of being both mother and father to you did not come easily or naturally to me. All I can say is that I tried—every single day—to love, protect, and nurture you in the only way I knew how.

As if that weren’t enough, I had just started working at Juniper, which later became HPE, right before Christmas. Learning a new role, in a new company, in an entirely new field added yet another layer of pressure to an already overwhelming season of life.

As winter slowly softened into spring, Kiet began suffering from severe allergies. Some nights, he coughed until he threw up, often accompanied by a high fever. Watching him endure that pain was heartbreaking. At times, he looked so pale and fragile from the lack of sleep. Doctors ordered blood tests, X-rays, and eventually referred us to a respiratory specialist. With the right combination of medications, he slowly began to recover, and by autumn, the coughing finally faded away.

By the end of summer, you both began a new chapter—your school years. I made the decision to enroll you in the same school but in different classrooms. Unlike daycare, where you constantly fought over toys, I hoped this would give each of you your own space to grow, learn, and find your independence while still being close to one another.

As Kien grew stronger and steadier on his feet, I bought an annual membership to the San Jose Zoo. You both loved it. It became a place filled with laughter and light—a mix of animals, playgrounds, and carnival rides. Unlike Great America, Kiet could ride everything here. His favorites were the dragon ride, the airplane ride with Grandma, and of course, the carousel, where he chose a different animal every visit.

We ended 2025 with our first family trip to Florida to visit your grandparents, the Jones. But more importantly, it was a journey I needed to take—to bring Mama’s remains to the Atlantic Ocean. We took a red-eye flight on your last day of school, the 23rd. You were both so excited, especially you, Kien, as it was your very first flight. You managed to sleep for a couple of hours—not much, but enough.

Florida in autumn was gentle, with perfect T-shirt and shorts weather. We visited some of Mama’s friends, and you both received many Christmas gifts. On December 29th, while the sun was still soft and the breeze calm, we boarded a small fishing boat and traveled three miles out into the Atlantic. Kiet, you held Mama’s urn for the very first time before we released her into the ocean. That moment marked our final goodbye to Mama.

For the rest of the trip, all I wanted was for you to spend as much time as possible with your grandparents. Time is precious, my dear Kiet and Kien. Treasure every moment you are given.

With all my love,

Dada

It was 4th of July weekend, and I decided to go out of my comfort zone and took you kids up to see uncle Hao and auntie Anan up in Murphys.  It was our first road trip with overnight stay, so I was not sure how I'd handle both you.  The drive was short enough, ~2 hours, so by the time you wake up from your nap, we'd arrived.

I did not get to take you two to the pool or into the wood because I did not think I could handle you guys safely.  Most of your entertainment with interaction with George.  You two were all over him throughout the entire weekend.  Follow him around.  Fed him your foods and water.  The 3 of you were inseparable.

I promised to take you guys back next summer and we'll do more fun stuff around the pool and in the wood.

This trip was very spontaneous.  We both had a Friday off from work and decided to drive east for camping.  After driving for about 2 and half hours, we decided to pull in the first ranger station we saw and checked out which campground(s) is open and what were our options.  We randomly picked Bear River Reservoir because we thought we was not a popular place and might have open spot.  Off we went and boy, we were so lucky.  We got a pretty good spot overlooking the lake and within a few minutes walking.  We ended up spending 2 nights there.  I remembered it was hot that year so we'd went dipping after a morning hike and before dinner.

While in the area, we also stumbled on what people called 'water holes'.  Basically it is a creek with deep rock formation in some area where you can jump in.  It was quite fun actually.

We were young and free.  The only 2 things we responsible for were performed well at work and pay our bills. 

Believe it or not, Mama was an avid snowboarder.  She loved the speed.  I, sometimes, had a hard time keeping up with her.  Every winter we would go up to Tahoe to play in the snow.  If we skied in the northern part of the lake, we'd stayed with uncle Scott and Johannes.  Their cabin is at the bottom of a ski resort and there was shuttle bus comes by to pick us up.  It was first class service.  After a long day of skiing/snowboarding, we would come back to the cabin for snack and prep for dinner.  

Your Mama loved museum.  Everywhere we visited, she would find a museum to learn about the the place and its culture.  Christmas 2017 was an unusual holiday, I was in Japan working for a month prior, and decided not to go back to the US.  Mama and I would spend a month in Viet Nam instead - just roaming around.

This part of the trip, we were in Buon Ma Thuot.  A small city in the highland.  It was a city where your grandpa and grandma met and married.  I still have an uncle and an aunt live there, so we thought we paid them a visit.

This place is called Thousand Islands Lake in the Eastern Sierra with trailhead started in Mammoth.  We were fit and strong back then.  We chose to be up there in October for the Autumn foliage and avoid the mosquitos.  This was one of many backpacking trips and also our favorite.  The route we took was long.  Thirteen miles each way with elevation gained of over 2,000'.  But it was well worth it.  We had never seen anything this beautiful.  Yes literally, thousand of little islands (rocks) scattered in the lake with a stunning backdrop of Mt. Ritter.  We were carefree back then.

There will be times in life, to move forward, you have to back and connect the dots.  Your memories of Mama are nearly nonexistence.  Only through images, writing and stories.  I can only tell you so much through the years that Mama and I were together.  But there was a whole life of Mama before that.  Her youth, her works and her faith - they will give you more clues to complete your image of Mama.  As I have travelled to the most northern part of Viet Nam to learn about my ancestry, I encourage you to do the same.  Make it a life long goal.